21st Century opt-out ...

The UK Government has bowed to pressure from the Church of England and agreed to give it an opt-out from the 21st Century.

Following in the well-worn footsteps of previous governments, the Church of England has been given assurances that its tradition of remaining in the past can continue unchallenged.

The Church had already been given an opt-out from the 20th Century when it was given exemption from equality legislation for women.  Now it has been given the 21st Century Opt-out to exempt it from marrying gay couples.

A church spokesman welcomed the news saying that “The Church of England is totally at home in the 19th Century, and we don’t see why on earth that should change.  Any move to drag us into another century is completely against our principals.”

A government spokesperson said she couldn’t work out what all the fuss was about.  “The Church of England is famous for its anachronistic views, and we believe that it is important to maintain and strengthen the extent of its irrelevance.”

But some in the church still say that the church has a prophetic role in calling the nation back to that central tenet of faith – the importance of Victorian values.  “Why can’t everybody just be like us?” asked a member of the House of Laity.

And the Opt-out has found a welcome from an unexpected source.  The Human Secularist Society of Great Britain has expressed its delight that yet again, the Church of England has consigned itself to the museum of antiquated curiosities.  “It’s not so much prophetic, as pathetic” they said, “and that suits us just fine!”

The tide turns on women...

Opponents of women’s leadership in church chalked up another significant victory this week.

After seeing off the prospect of Women Bishops in the Church of England, news has come in that Bristol University has joined the fray as it’s Christian Union (BUCU) banned women from preaching or teaching at its events.

According to the Huffington Post, the BUCU President, Matt Oliver has written to all CU members saying that they have “decided that women would not teach on their own at our weekly CU meetings, as the main speaker on our Bristol CU weekend away, or as our main speaker for mission weeks.”

Conservatives have expressed delight at this forthright stand on Biblical principles in excluding those not worthy of teaching in the church.  One such traditionalist said, “Now at last we are getting somewhere.  For years we have been on the run but now Biblical teaching is making a come-back.  Banning women speakers is the first step back to a well ordered Christian society where women know their place.  The Bible says that women will be ‘saved by child-bearing’(1 Timothy 2:15) and it’s about time they got back to this central role.  I, for one, would be happy to help!”

But there has been disquiet among some who are still worried that BUCU is going wooly.  There have been suggestions that a woman may speak if she is accompanied by her husband and they teach together – a dangerous compromise according to some.

Others are less impressed – and have described this decision as obscene, hugely discriminatory, deeply offensive, and sexist.  There have been suggestions that that if the Christian Union wants to be so forthright in their stand against women, they should change their name from the ‘Bristol University Christian Union (BUCU) to the ‘Forthright University Christian Union.’ (FUCU).

Rumours that conservatives responded to this by saying ‘Amen’ have been strongly denied.

But elsewhere in Bristol this week, a very different message has been agreed.  Bristol Diocesan Synod has passed a vote of ‘no confidence’ in the General Synod’s ability to enact ‘the clear will of the church’ on Women Bishops, pointing out that 42 of the 44 Dioceses of the Church of England voted clearly in favour of women’s leadership.

Perhaps the tide has not fully turned…