Sometimes the only way to get a point across is to satirise it.
Satire is always unfair, but that is why it gets under your skin and makes you think about issues in a different way.
Hopefully it can also sometimes be funny ... read on!

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

The End is Nigh!

The rise of homosexuality is a clear sign that the end of the world is nigh!

Such is the verdict from the head of the Anglican Church in Nigeria, Archbishop Okoh. In a wide ranging interview, he clearly identified the acceptance of homosexual relationships as evidence that "we are in the end time and in this end time there are boundless opportunities of evil."

Biblical scholars will immediately remember the verse in Matthew 24, squeezed between the 'increase of wickedness' and the 'abomination that causes desolation'. You know - the one that says "when the day of gay marriage arises, flea to the mountains... how dreadful it will be".

It may also be possible, of course, that the Archbishop thinks that the likes of Gene Robinson might already be the 'abomination standing in the holy place' - so that would be another piece of the apocalyptic jigsaw set in place.

This eschatology fits in well with Anglican Mainstream's warnings of prison and persecution for Christians which will follow the acceptance of gay marriage.

They recently highlighted the case of David Parker from Lexington Massachusetts who, according to their blog, was "arrested and sent to jail when he insisted that school officials notify him when teaching his 6 year old son about homosexuality and transgenderism".

The reality was not quite so dramatic however.

Mr Parker objected to a cartoon picture book illustrating different kinds of families. The book "Who's in a family" describes itself as a book which "Shows the various combinations of individuals that can make up a family, emphasizing the positive aspects of different family structures, including grand-parent headed, single-parent, adopted, gay-headed, and mother-father families."

This was beyond the pale for the Parkers who demanded that they be called in advance whenever their child would be exposed to such subversive disgusting sexuality.

The school felt that this would create an impossible situation because, amongst other reasons, there were other children at the school with the same kind of subversive disgusting gay parents.

When he turned up at school and refused to leave until his demands were met, the school finally resorted to phoning the police when he was still there long after they wanted to lock up for the night.

When the police arrived, he goaded the police saying "If I am not under arrest, I am not leaving" which resulted in his arrest for trespass. Upon arriving at the police station, he then refused to be bailed and so spent the night in the cells before appearing in court the following morning when he was fined and released.

But this is nowhere near as sensational as the pre-apocalyptic 'prepare to be sent to prison for your faith' approach that Anglican Mainstream have chosen to take.

No doubt they had in mind the words of Jesus again:

"On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it... All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." (Matthew 10:18+)

But I'm not sure that refusing to leave a kindergarten was quite what Jesus had in mind.

So is the end of the world upon us? Are we in the end times?

Well we might be, of course, but can it really be because we have recognised that two people of the same sex can love each other?

Or could it be because there are' wars and rumours of wars...nation rising against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, famines and earthquakes'. (Matthew 24:6&7)

Let's see - I know which I would bet on.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Holy Week

"There is a time for everything
and a season for every activity under heaven...

a time to weep and a tiem to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them."
(Ecclesiastes 3)

We are taking a break during this Holy Week so as not to distract from the most profound act of selfless love the world has ever seen.

May God Bless You and Inspire You this Easter.

The Satirical Christian.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Lesley's Blog: Ten Reasons NOT to have Men Bishops

This is an excellent satire from another world! Do follow the link and enjoy!

In fact, I often think that those who oppose women bishops to the point where they will not allow others to enbrace women bishops are from another world! (Just not the same other world as this other world!!!)

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Durham Twelve Saved!

Following on from our earlier report, the Church Commissioners are delighted to announce that the Durham 12 have been saved from eviction by a generous donation of £15m by an investment manager.

The Church Commissioners had planned to sell the famous paintings to save on insurance and use the money raised for mission and ministry. But now, the extra-ordinary generosity of this gift will ensure that the paintings can stay, (although still more money will be needed to develop them as a visitor attraction).

The Bishop of London celebrated the donation saying that it “has made that rarest of scenarios possible: the best of both worlds”.

It seems, however, that in celebrating the ‘best of both worlds’, he seems to have forgotten the 3rd world, where such a generous donation could have:-

Built 3,000 Classrooms fully equipped with desks, and blackboards

Plus provide 12,000 Libraries for existing classrooms,

And provide Farming Tools, Seeds and Fertiliser to 100,000 families

(Source: Oxfam Unwrapped)

Alternatively the donation could have provided access to safe water, sanitation, and hygiene education to 1 Million people.

(Source: WaterAid)

Doubtless people living in poverty in sub-Saharan Africa will be just as delighted that this act of generosity will be used to ‘save’ these paintings.

It has also emerged that the £15m donation will be spent on creating a charitable trust for the paintings, not for mission and ministry, as was planned if the paintings had been sold.

So hats off to the Church Commissioners for ensuring that the most important things have been ‘saved’ – not the million people in poverty whose lives will continue to be at risk from water-borne diseases – not the people who would might have been spiritually ‘saved’ by financing mission, ministry and evangelism in the Church of England – but the paintings.

“It’s good to know that the futures of so many people have been sacrificed for us” said a spokesperson for the Durham 12, “because that is what the Church is all about!”