In a move worthy of 'Return of the Mummy', a relic of the Church of England has written to the Prime Minister appealing to be taken more seriously.According to the writer of the epistle, Christians are too often ridiculed and dismissed as relics of a bygone age.
What is needed, therefore, is to bring the relics back into fashion.
"Relics have played an important part in the history of Christianity and it's about time they made a come-back."
New Reliquaries, containing the bones of the saints, could be set up on every street corner to remind people that this is still a Christian nation. And if there aren't enough relics to go around, we could always collect a few more from other retired Bishops.
Faith in relics was a significant part of Church life from medieval times to the middle ages. They were believed to possess special powers which could benefit everyone who put their faith in them.
Clearly the former Archbishop is hoping that the Prime Minister will take a leaf out of pre-reformation England and put his faith in this relic of a bygone age.
And there could be another fringe benefit of the re-introduction of these Relics. Belief in relics is definitely pre-reformation in its theology, alongside 'Indulgences' where people paid money to the church in return for a fast-track ticket for heaven - rather like skipping the tiresome queues for rides at Theme Parks.
If Indulgences were also re-introduced, then the Church of England could also solve its financial problems at the same time....
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